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Any Press Is Good Press


Bree's parents were night owls. Going to bed after 1 a.m. was normal for them. They had just settled under the covers when disheveled Bree came bursting through the rickety door of their apartment. She ran hurriedly in and out of all of the rooms.


Bree’s younger sister had just turned off the television and her twin brothers were already asleep.


“What’s going on? Where have you been?” Her mother asked. “Didn’t we tell you not to come home so late? Look, it's almost 2:00 in the morning.”


“You won’t believe what happened! I can’t believe it,” Bree said, gasping for breath, “It’s unbelievable, for real, ohymygod…!”


Gripping her phone for dear life, Bree thumped into her father’s lazy boy chair. “Where is it, I have to find it” she said, swiftly swiping her phone for the news.


With ruffled hair and wondering what all the commotion was about, her twin brothers peered out of their room, rubbing their eyes.


“What on earth has happened?” her father asked, “settle down.”


“Are you drunk, Bree? You look a hot mess” her sister snickered.


“Drunk? Me? No, well sort of. I mean I was but not any more. That doesn’t matter -- what matters is that the whole country knows who I am now!”


Bree continued swiping up and down on her cracked phone screen searching for the news.


She said, “Last night only y’all knew Bree Joan Johnson, Banjo Barista from Littleton County. By morning the whole world's gonna know me. The whole world!”


“Get a hold of yourself and tell us what happened,” her father said.


“No way! You have not gone viral?” her sister surmised, “that’s impossible!”


“What are you talking about? What do you mean, viral?” her father asked.


“Y’all live like hermit crabs! The whole world knows who I am, Dad. I’m a celebrity now. That’s what viral means. On the internet! On social media! I’m everywhere, Dad. I’ve gone viral!” she gushed.


Bree’s dad turned pale, cold. Her mom held her head in her hands and wept as the twin boys tippy-toed around trying to peek at Bree’s phone.


“Here it is! I found it. Look, read for yourself!”


Her father reluctantly put his reading glasses on.


“Right there!” Bree said, tapping her phone screen. “Look, here's my name right there, Bree Johnson! Shh, shh, listen, here it comes…”


The whole family gathered around Bree's phone.


A police and ambulance siren was screeching with lights flashing in every direction. Bree turned the volume up and the twins squinted, covering their ears. The whole family watched, alarmed. Her mom and dad gasped. The boys raced back to their bedroom. Her sister stood speechless, moving only her eyes from the phone screen to Bree.


A rookie news anchor, Kaitlin Clark, cut in saying:


“Just after noon today, a 21-year-old woman emerged from a restaurant across the street.” Kaitlin Clark turned and pointed to Hooter’s over her right shoulder.


Bree’s dad rubbed the top of his head and cleared his throat.


“Shhhh, here it comes, my name, you’ll see me walk away with the cops.”


The news anchor continued “...the young woman, being in an intoxicated condition, fell into the center of an impressive cookie-box pyramid that four 9-year-old Girl Scouts had spent an hour constructing. Thin Mints, Caramel Delights, Peanut Butter Patties, and Thanks-A-Lots were some of the flavors that came crashing down on top of the Girl Scout’s heads.


Troop 1881 leader, Betty Buckman, ran as fast as she could to save the girls but unfortunately she didn’t make it in time. Two girl scouts tumbled to the ground under the falling cookie boxes.


Bree's’s sister covered her mouth and giggled.


“What?? Y’all don’t understand. I’m famous! This is all over the internet. Don’t you see that I have gone viral?”


The video continued: “The intoxicated woman was taken away in a police cruiser and the girl scout injuries are reported to be minor but the youngsters were taken to a nearby hospital out of an abundance of caution.”


Bree turned the phone’s volume down saying, “No one even pressed charges! I just had to sober up and apologize to the kids…” Then she rushed her phone to a charger. “I have to share it now. This could reach a million views. All my platforms can do this. I know they can.”


The family went back to bed.


Bree stayed up refreshing and refreshing her view count. She dismissed unkind comments as jealousy. There were a lot of unkind, jealous comments. But, even the not-so-nice words elated her. There were a lot and that was what mattered most. She laid awake for hours until finally slipping off to sleep.


The next day the excitement in Bree’s apartment faded. The view count, along with kind and unkind comments faded away too. Slowly.


Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect - Romans 12:2.


Thank you for reading!

Love, Shelley






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