I want to curl up in bed beside mom holding her warm, weak hand in mine, feeling her bones hanging on for dear life. She wouldn’t mind me doing that. She’s happy when I visit her twice, maybe three, and even four times a day.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“What are you doing today?”
“What have you been doing today?” she asks.
Diane is doing well, relatively speaking. She has a 12-hour personal aide by her side, every day now. The addition of daily aides has made a world of difference in her comfort care.
You may recall that over the last couple weeks she was repeatedly undressing, needing to be redressed by myself and aides? She was always redressed in the same ‘ol hospital gown. Well, her very first 12-hour aide suggested I get her clothes to wear every day. What? Providing clothes for her sounded simple yet bewildering.
Mom had been undressing simply because she wanted to get dressed in the morning like everyone else. She wanted to get out of the flimsy, open-backed hospital gown that she’d been wearing for weeks. She wasn’t undressing because she was disoriented or “out of it”.
Diane wanted to be comfortable, and to “fit in” (her words).
She wanted a warm soft top covering her back, neck and arms. Well, she now has a spiffy wardrobe hanging in her closet: flannels, plaids, pretty pinks, creams, denim, anything she wants.
Every evening mom is changed into a night garment and in the morning she is dressed in a nice top. Her wardrobe is cozy and enviable. She has not attempted to undress herself a single time since couture enhancements arrived.
I felt kind of silly and neglectful not realizing she may have a desire to dress daily. I figured the staff needed her to be in a hospital gown for medical-care reasons. Nope. They don’t. They can work around every day, regular clothing (she mostly only wears tops).
The first time mom felt a warm, pink, flannel, button-up shirt around her shoulders, back and arms she looked relieved, comforted and plain happy.
Ugh, thank you Margaret from Eckstein Home Care for suggesting (earnestly) that I provide Diane with a proper wardrobe.
Who knew a private aide could/would add so much to the quality of Diane’s comfort on the very first visit.
In addition to a wardrobe re-entering her life, mom received a shower for the first time in a long time a couple days ago. Of course she’s kept very clean, but a shower! Epic.
That shower got her out of the room for the first time in three weeks. Journeying from her room to the shower room was the mother of all field trips.
Relief and happiness spread across her face when I visited that evening. I asked her if she felt better after the shower. She stared at me and nodded yes.
There’s more!
A proper wheelchair was located recently which means if she’s up to it she’ll be getting out of the room again. Or at least positioned in something other than the bed.
Of course, there’s good and bad to everything. Diane’s wounds are still present. The wound on the back of her head didn’t heal properly and has re-emerged. A team of medical professionals are tending to that wound as well as another one on her back.
Mom’s body is terribly frail and fading. Please pray for strength for her to help fight the wounds. Mom has always liked to put off washing her hair. Please pray I can convince her to get her scalp properly cleansed and massaged during her next shower.
As we gradually decline our personalities stay intact. Diane continues to exude her humorous, engaging, people-loving self. The staff at The Jewish Home adore her and she adores all of them. Albeit nobody enjoys time with mom more than myself and my immediate family. We are blessed to the nth degree to have the great fortune of touching her, talking to her, kissing her, hugging her…caring for her…
(Photo: Mom is blessed to have a caring, generous, trustful, loving son-in-law who has done so much for her over the past 20 years of living in Atlanta. She loves him and he also loves her. Unfortunately, this photo was taken right before her wardrobe arrival.)
Thank you for reading!
Love, Shelley
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