A worldwide beloved Queen passed in 2022, and so did the queen of my family's small world: mom, Diane.
Pain and void run deep but there is so much to be thankful for I'm blown away.
Let Thanksgiving begin today, tomorrow and forever more!
The first person I would like to thank is:
If you're not familiar with Ms. Karnes, she is an internationally respected author and educator on all things pertaining to end of life. She wrote the little blue book, Gone From My Sight. Hospice and caregivers often share it.
We're all going to die one day. Ms. Karnes is a wealth of experience, knowledge and gentle understanding of the dying process. She teaches about the beauty and naturalness of dying. Like childbirth, there are many aspects that are routine for all of us. Her books, podcasts, videos, blogs, etc. are a soothing, honest, private route to learning about death. She helps make dying pleasant, natural --unscary-- by knowing what to look for and what to expect.
The second person I am eternally grateful to is: Mom!
For the past year mom was declining. There were so many things I hoped and prayed would or wouldn't happen but one thing lead the charge: More than anything else, I hoped and prayed to not get a call from a stranger in the night telling me that, they were very sorry, but Mrs. Corkill was no longer with us. Please God, anything but that.
The last few days of mom's life were wonderful. We hugged, kissed and reminded each other how much we loved the other so much so that doubting it was spiritually impossible. I love(d) her and she love(d) me. End of story.
I read psalms and bible verses to her from her bible. Calm music played by her bedside. Daystar was on the television, muted. I asked mom to visit me often when she got to heaven, to show me signs however she chose. I texted my dear cousins and told them their aunt was slipping from this world (I saw signs that I learned from Ms. Karnes).
Then...I crawled into the tiny hospice bed (thank you Jinny) like a hand slips into a snug glove. How could I fit in that teensy bed? Powers that be stopped feeding mom just a few days prior. I stopped eating too. I held her lifeless hand under the covers and wept.
Savanna stopped by that same afternoon, anguished. We left mom's side together. Later that evening Jeff and I returned as we always did. Her nighttime caregiver left us alone and I crawled back into bed with her. There was organic comfort in laying beside her.
When it came time to leave I told her we'd be back tomorrow. Jeff held her hand, kissed her head, said I love you and told her good bye. She began to respond! Jeff went back to the other side and sat down. Her eyes opened, she leaned forward, then rested.
I knew she was gone 100% from what I had learned from Ms. Karnes. But I was in disbelief. Part of me was so very happy. She had said goodbye to Jeff and me. There would be no call in the night. The Jewish Home was quiet, only a nurse distant in the hallway. I said to Jeff, "I think she just took her last breath." Jeff gently rested his big hand on her little chest and said, "I think you're right." It. Was. Beautiful. No more pain. Perfection. I was so happy.
The third thank you goes to:
Everyone who sent texts, cards, emails, phone calls, flowers, food, gifts, visited, attended, etc.
Everyone at HM Patterson Funeral Home
My Family for their help in planning the memorial and courageously speaking about their beloved mother-in-law and grandmother
Those who travelled to honor their aunt, friend, sister-in-law
Ernesto, Kym and Melissa for their kind, loving words honoring Diane
Church of the Apostles (Jeremy, Lauren and Zack), and
GOD! Thank you, thank you for the beautiful good-bye and memorial
Jeff, Savanna, Diana and I had no idea what to expect from mom (and papa's) memorial. Both of their urns were displayed in a floral infinity ring. Unfortunately, there is no photo of the santuary during service. I wish there was and I also wish the music could be shared: It Is Well With My Soul, Abide With Me, and When The Saints Go Marching In (both papa and Gam wanted When The Saints song for their memorial and It Is Well was a favorite of Papa's).
The presence of support and kind words from so many is and was humbling. Rev. Zack's beautiful sermon along with Jeremy and Lauren's heavenly voices leave me speechless. Both mom and dad would be humbled and thankful for the love and professionalism of all (HM Patterson included).
Our queen has passed and been promoted with her husband of 68 years. Thanks be to God above all. May he bless all those that expressed condolences and either loved mom or expressed it through supporting my family. I send all the love and support back to each of you!
When something went really, really well mom would often say: It was perfect! I can hear her saying that now.
Perfection.
Thank you for reading!
Love, Shelley
To see photos shared during the memorial click Here
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