Most of you know that my mom (Diane) is 91-years-young and going strong, on her own. Do you also know that she refuses to enter the 21st century with such necessities as a cell phone, social media, and internet per se? If you’re friends or family you probably know that about her, but if not: can you believe it? How is that possible? Or...Is that why she’s doing so wel?
Mom is doing great without all of the above. And get this...resisting them ostensibly energizes her. Diane loves the telephone, pure joy in her world. I still recall her excitement when call waiting and caller ID came out. But, adding internet service has zero appeal to her. Sooo...I print and snail mail blogs and, when needed, provide proxy internet access for her.
Don't we tend to say things in texts, emails and/or blogs that we might not otherwise say to each other? Not that virtual connecting is vital to survival or livlihood, but it is, for sure, current and envogue. Both of which Diane values. But snail mail and phone calls will have to do, for now.
If you have a parent, relative or friend in their 80's or 90’s, have you heard of Barbara Karnes? I learned of Karnes in the final hours of my dad’s life, four years ago. She wrote: Gone From My Sight, a helpful booklet about the dying experience. Last week, I received an email titled, The Scar in your Heart, Grief in End of Life Care. What? Of course that’s not where I am with Mom but it piqued my interest in becoming educated. The time will obviously come for all of us. Why not be prepared, educated!
If you’re not familiar with Barbara Karnes, RN, she is an award winning end of life author and educator. She has years of experience as a hospice nurse tending to hundreds of patients during their cross-over. She teaches that the dying process has a “normal,” natural progression that most people follow. She teaches about the common flow of death in a positive manner, helping to alleviate fear and provide sacred memories to carry forward.
A Japanese friend of mine said that in Japanese culture they don’t really find sorrow in elderly death because the person is “old” -- everyone dies when they are old. However, if a young person precedes elders in death, that is very mourned, as of course it is in western culture. And we have a similar "celebration of life" tradition to honor deceased but it seems western culture weeps and mourns long after the celebration, regardless. Perhaps this is due to substituting fear over fully understanding death's common process? Ms. Karnes provides valuable information and explanation.
Hi Mom, If you’re reading and got this far. Don’t worry, there won’t be a test on anything. (Mom STILL talks about childhood anxiety over being called on in class and exam stress she experienced during high school and college.) I just want you to know I’m thinking of you, Mom, and looking forward to our journey into eternity, through Him! And whenever you get tired of me mailing blogs to you I'll set you up online!
Thank you for reading,
Love, Shelley
Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. Thessalonians 4:13-14 -
“I found myself thinking about President William McKinley, the third American president to be assassinated. He lived for several days after he was shot, and towards the end, his wife started crying and screaming, "I want to go too! I want to go too!" And with his last measure of strength, McKinley turned to her and spoke his last words: "We are all going.”
John Green, Looking for Alaska
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